If you are like me, you have spent hours searching the internet or reading books looking for advice on parenting. When I had my first child, I had no clue what I was doing. I now have 3 kids and I still have many days when I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing 😉
One of the things I continually look for is advice on discipline. I want new strategies or tips to see if maybe I am missing something that will have my kids behave.
After doing extensive reading and going over lots of information, I have discovered that each piece I have read has had something missing. So, I have decided to fill in some of those blanks.
It may not work for you
Every child is different and one strategy that one parent shares may have zero impact on your own child. If you even suggest that this strategy does not seem to be working for you then people will respond by telling you that you are obviously not doing it right and that you have no clue what you’re doing. The truth is that your child may just not respond to a particular tactic.
It may work, but only a few times
You have finally found something that works!!! Yeah!!!! A few weeks later, your use the same tactic you have been using for weeks and it no longer works. This may be for a few reasons. The first is that young children grow in and out of stages very quickly. As they transition, how they react to certain strategies may change as well. The second is that children are smart. They might have figured out what’s your doing and are no longer want to go along with what you’re trying to do.
It may work for this kid, but not the next
Your first child was easy. You got this parenting business down so you decide to have a second. You have a list of discipline strategies that worked like a dream for child 1 and think: I have no clue why people find this so hard. Enter child #2!! You try and try and try, and nothing you do seems to work. You use the same strategies at the same stages and your child still does not toe the line. Why?? Well, your kids are not the same. They won’t react the same way to a certain tactic as each other. You might have to find a whole new bag of strategies for each child you have.
parenting truth: you might have to find a whole new bag of strategies for each child you have.
Your Child is too young for this strategy
I read parenting books and regularly think: wow, that would never fly for my 2-year-old. Or, I think: so what age is this strategy good for? For some reason, the books never suggest an age. It’s easy to read a book and think it’s a fantastic idea. But then you try it out and realise that your child is not developed enough to understand what you’re trying to do. Don’t throw the strategy out the door, just maybe put it on the shelf and try again when your child is older.
Training children takes time. When I say time, I don’t mean minutes or hours. I mean days, months and years. There are some concepts that I have been working on with my children for years and they still don’t seem to understand. But don’t loose heart, because one day they do get it and it gets better.
What discipline fact do you find missing from parenting experts?