I love to create memories, but I hate getting my picture taken.
In this post, I want to share how I started becoming afraid and the 6 things I am doing to change my behaviour.
I am full of fear that I will look back and only see how fat and bad I look.
My continual negative thinking has kept me from creating and keeping memories for my kids.
Where did this fear come from?
As a Christian, I have been told that I should not think highly of myself.
This is thought using this verse:
For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to
but to think soberly, as God has dealt
Romans 12:3 (NKJV)
What does Humility mean?
When I have heard people preach this verse, I have always taken it to mean that I should think of myself as dumb, unworthy, low, small and so on.
But, as I have become older, I have come to realize that this verse is not telling us that we can’t think of ourselves as talented, beautiful, smart and so on.
What this verse is teaching us to consider ourselves next to God. The verse is a reminder to us.
People do often think of themselves as smart and they forget that they are not smarter than God.
The verse reminds us that we can think highly of ourselves but that we always need to remember that we are not better, bigger, or smarter than God.
I am slowly coming to understand that I can think of myself in positive terms, but it’s hard to change a mindset that I have had for so many years.
Consequences of low self-esteem
Having such low self-esteem comes with some consequences.
As I was going through all the pictures I had of her, I realized that there were only a few pictures of just the two of us. We create memories but we have no evidence.
There were a dozen or so family shots and lots of pictures of us kids. But not many pictures of just me and my mom, or pictures of just her.
I love every single picture of my mom. In them, I see her love, her beauty, her character and so much more. The pictures bring back many of the memories we created and fill the memory blanks.
Why am I missing?
Today, we have cameras on our phones and carry them everywhere we go. We create memories of the food we have eaten and the flights we have taken. We take them out and document every aspect of our lives
But there seems to be a trend in the pictures I see: moms are mostly missing from the pictures. Moms are the ones taking the pictures and never in front of the cameras.
So I started to wonder why.
Every time I see a picture of myself I see my unruly hair, my makeup-free face. I see that my clothes are not in style and don’t make me look my best. The weight I have gained since having children is more evident.
I see so many other things that I don’t particularly like about myself.
The truth: I hate pictures of myself.
I am so used to not thinking highly of myself that my mindset keeps me from having my picture taken.
6 things you can do to create memories
1. Change my Mindset
When I think of the lack of pictures of my mom, I feel at a loss. As I get older, I don’t have easy access to my memories and I love looking at pictures and seeing things from the post.
Even though that’s how I feel about my mom: when the opportunity comes for me to have a picture taken, I shy away.
The exercise of looking through my old pictures showed me that I can’t let all my excuses keep me from having my picture taken.
I try to put myself in my daughter’s shoes 30 years from now and wonder if maybe she will wonder where all the photos of her mother are.
Maybe my children will want more pictures of me and pictures of me with them.
Instead of shying away from pictures, deliberately take pictures of yourself with your children and your spouse on a regular basis.
2. Remember the Truth
The first step to changing my mindset is to remember the truth.
I made a list of 3 truths I need to remember:
- Don’t let my fears stop me and to let pictures be taken of me.
- I have to remember that pictures of me are not for me. They are for my kids and other people who love me.
- I need to remember that my thoughts are
a lie: It’s all in my head. I might not like the way I look, but it’s a lie.
When my kids, or people who love me, look at pictures of me they find me beautiful and love me.
They love seeing pictures of me because it documents my presence in their lives and that I have loved them from the start.
Even bough I may hate most pictures I am in, one day, I will be thankful for them. Maybe not today, but 3,5,10 years from now I will look back at the picture and smile. I will forget that I thought of myself as fat or ugly, and the memory will make me smile.
As the saying goes: a picture is worth a 1000 words. For me, when I look at pictures of me as a kid or even pictures from yesterday, every one of those 1000 words is a story of that day or time. It’s a memory. One memory triggers another one and another and soon one picture has given me a treasure trove of memories.
So I choose to have my picture taken and I hope you do as well
More Blog Posts about Parenting
- The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Got
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- Positive ways to React when your Child Misbehaves
3. Set up for success
The best way to have your picture taken is to carry a camera with you.
If you’re like me, you have a smartphone with a camera on it. Take it with you. Not to use as a phone but as a camera.
If you can, purchase a hand-held camera. These will take higher quality pictures: ones you can print, frame and display in your house.
You also have to encourage your husband to take pictures of you. Hand off the camera and get in the shot.
4. Display pictures
Display pictures in your home or make a scrapbook.
Doing this will help you remember all the good memories and see how much you and the kids have changed over time. These pictures will also allow you to remember events together as a family.
Today there are so many options for printing and displaying pictures. Pick one option
5. Share the love
Share the pictures you have taken with family and friends.
If you love to create memories, then you should share them with others.
I have only made 2 scrapbooks, but my daughters love them.
They regularly ask me if we can look at them together and we then talk about the pictures.
6. Be Inspired by others:
I want to create memories and share them, but sometimes I don’t know where to start.
I am not always sure what I should share and how to share them. So, instead of trying to figure it out on my own, I look to others for inspiration.
Maybe you are the same.
If so, I have a few recommendations
- Join Instagram and share the pictures. Follow other moms who post pictures of themselves.
- Find me @onedeterminelife
- Follow @iminthephoto
- Continue reading: Building Confidence and Self-esteem
Stop being afraid and start collecting memories. If not for yourself, for your children.
How do you create memories?
In the comments below, share your favourite picture of you and your kids.
Please share this post with friends and family