9 reasons why parenting is hard

I don’t think I am the only parent to admit this, but I am going to say it: parenting is hard. Before I had kids, people around me would express how hard it was but I just did not understand until I was in the middle of it. Today, I want to share with you 9 reasons why parenting is hard.

Parenting is hard-- if you don't believe me, then click to read this post. #parenting, #truelives, #trueparenting, #parentingtips

So, if you just don’t understand, then this post is not for you. If you are a parent, then you can probably relate. If you don’t have kids but want to know about what parents go through, then this post may also be for you.

9 reasons why parenting is hard

1. The hours

The hardest thing I had to get used to when I first became a parent was the hours. Before children, I loved babysitting and taking care of other people’s kids. But it was when I had my own that the reality set in that I understood how much time parenting takes.

In the first year of a child’s life, they are completely dependent on you 24 hours a day. It was the continual need and the never-ending demands that drained me in the first year of having a child. I was not expecting to have my time so eaten up and to have a child need me for every moment of every day with no days off.

I slowly came to understand that parenting is a 24-hour job with no breaks and no vacation. Even when your kids are asleep or in school or you’re away for a date, you still worry about the kids. Your brain is always on parent mode.

2. The crying

I hate crying. I despise it. I do everything in my power to stop my kids from crying. With kids, it seems like there is always one child crying at all times. Sometimes, it seems like they have made a pact to take turns and slowly torture you with the consistent noise of screaming.

Other times, they just all cry at once. I have 3 kids, and there have only been a few times when all the kids are screaming at the same time. Those are the days I am tempted to just give up and walk out.

3. The attitude

My eldest daughter is 10, my second daughter is 7, and my son is 3. I have noticed that with both of them, there was a shift from baby-crying mode to attitude mode.

This shift comes at around 3 or 4 and then strengthens at around age 6. They want things their own way and are willing to fight for it. It’s also when they start talking back and sometimes yelling at you. My eldest daughter was 3 when she first yelled to me and said that she hated me.

It’s hard to not take these outbursts personally and to not let them affect your actions and thoughts.

It’s also draining to try and go a few rounds with strong-willed and persistent children.

4. The loneliness

Before I stayed home with my child, I thought the idea of a stay-at-home mother sounded wonderful. It was not until I had been home for a while that the loneliness set in.

I was the first one out of my group of friends who had a child. My older sister had a child 9 months before me and was still on maternity leave, but not for that much longer.

I went to bible study once a week and that was about it. I spent the rest of my days taking care of my child all by myself waiting for my husband to get home. Sometimes, out of desperation, I would walk the mall of the store, but even that became a headache and more work than I was willing to put in.

It was not until my child was one that I figured out I could be a bit more liniment with her routine and get some adult time in during my day.

When the kids are young, you’re never alone, but you feel so lonely. The child does not talk and takes up so much of your time. Boredom soon sets in.

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5. The expectations

In today’s society, we have a way of covering things up or putting a shiny face on things. As mothers, we hardly ever admit that we feel inadequate to do the job or that we need help.

We keep our silence because as women we are to be strong and loving every minute of the stage we are in. People all around us tell us what we should be feeling like and that they miss this stage and tell us how fortunate we are and how fast it all goes.

The truth is, these ideas may be the reality for women past the stage we are in, but as we sit alone at home with a crying child it’s hard to enjoy it or have the perspective that one day we might miss this. There were so many days I hated every minute of the day. I wished them away.

Then, when people would say: this too shall pass– I would feel guilty for not experiencing “the joy of motherhood”. I had to learn to reconcile my reality and my expectations. When I did, I was able to enjoy the journey more.

6. The never-ending mess

If you have kids you understand that they come with mess. Whether it’s sticky fingers, dirty laundry or the pile of toys on the floor, there is always a mess. I don’t mind cleaning up once, but what drives me nuts is when I clean a room and 10 min later it’s in the same state as it was in before I started.

Some days, I don’t even put toys away, knowing full well that the same toys are going to end up on the floor yet again. The work around a house is never-ending. When one task is done there is always something else that can be cleaned or organized.

7. The balance

I have no problems understanding women who say that they lost themselves when they had kids. Children demand so many pieces of ourselves. Pieces that we may not have known we had until they were taken from us.

When having kids it’s hard to find time for yourself to make sure you don’t lose that part of yourself you want to protect. Balancing alone time, family time, activity time, work, date night etc is hard.

There are so many pieces to fit together and finding a balance that works for you and your spouse and children is almost impossible. Finding that balance is one thing, but keeping it up is another. It takes planning and forethought and compromise.

8. The emotional drain

At the end of each day, there hits a point where I am done. There seems to be nothing left in the tank. All of the items listed above take a toll on our emotions.

Sometimes the thought of starting again the next day makes me want to cry. My children drain my emotions empty and hardly ever fill it back up. Keeping myself emotionally stable is hard.

9. The responsibility

As a parent, it’s our job to turn out decent human beings. We are responsible to teach them manners, and a worldview. We are responsible to teach them everything from how to eat properly to appropriate ways to respond to stress.

I don’t know about you, but the weight of responsibility weighs on me. Also, teaching children how to do things takes so much energy and time and can be very draining.

I love being a mother of 3. It’s the best thing that I do every day, but it can be hard. I know many parents who struggle with parenting and everything that goes with it.

You are not alone!!!! We all struggle and fumble our way through parenting.

Do you agree with my list? In the comments below, share with me the part of parenting that is the hardest for you. Please share this post with others. Thank you.

47 responses to “9 reasons why parenting is hard”

  1. Krysten Avatar

    Right now I really experience the loneliness. I hate feeling like I can’t go out with my friends anymore because I know my kid would be the Tazmanian Devil if we go out.

  2. Marisa Avatar

    This is all so true, especially the never ending mess! I love being a mom, but it is absolutely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The daily pouring into my kids and then wondering whether I said/did the right thing is another thing, in my opinion, that makes it so difficult. Thank goodness for God’s grace!

  3. Kenya Avatar

    All of these are spot on. Motherhood is hard. And people think when you’re married it’s not. I have been a single mom and a married mom and it’s hard all the way around.

  4. Julie Torres Avatar

    This is so great, when you are going through this feel so alone. Nice to break down each of the reasons. My daughters are older now and there is hope, I am proof. Nice post, will share for sure!

  5. Nicole Avatar

    I agree. Being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had!

  6. Marsha Avatar

    I think you covered it. My son just turned 14, and I have an almost 27-year-old stepson. Stepparenting definitely is a tough road. Each season of parenting brings about its own joys and struggles.

  7. Belle Avatar

    I can totally relate! I have 2 toddlers and wow; it really is hard! But very fulfilling! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Belle | One Awesome Momma

  8. Jess Avatar

    I totally agree with this! Loneliness has always been a hard one for me since I am a social butterfly!!

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      It’s amazing how you can be with somebody all day long and still be lonely. Once my child started having conversations I felt less lonely.

  9. Julie Avatar

    Parenting is hard…but finding balance is key! For me it’s the arguing that’s the worst. But it’s all worth it in the end! ?

  10. Musings of a tired mummy...zzz... Avatar

    This is so true ๐Ÿ™ tough job but the best ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Quinn Caudill Avatar

    As a dad I agree with all 9. I see it a little differently because I don’t think the dads worry as much. Our oldest is turning 18 next month and graduating. He is still finding his way and we worry about him constantly. I have two girls 14 and 12. As a dad I worry about them more and we have the attitude problems with my oldest daughter. We are a lot alike and butt heads often but our relationship is starting to get much better as she gets older and I start understanding daughters more. As a guy I don’t get all the emotions of a teenage girl but I doing my best to be a good dad and set a good example. Parenting is very hard and tough on a marriage also. It takes lots of work from both parents but the rewards are wonderful. Best thing to remember is all you can do is your best and hopefully they turn out to be successful well adjusted adults. But sooner or later they will need to leave the nest and survive on their own. It is their life.

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      I am a girl and still have a hard time understanding all my girls emotions. Parenting can also be hard on a marriage. But, you are so right that the rewards are amazing (idea for another blog post)

  12. Jennifer Avatar

    The thing that gets me the very most is the constant circle of cleaning. It seriously never ends.

  13. jehava Avatar

    This is all so true! I can definitely relate!

  14. Misty | Thifty Mama Life Avatar

    Parenting is exhausting and hard beyond belief and unless the dads are home like we are, they don’t see the full extent. They want you to get so much done during the day that it is even more added pressure. What I have learned to do is that if my husband has a day off, I go run errands by myself most of the day. I go visit a friend sometimes even. This gives him the opportunity, one to spend time with the kids, two get a sense of what happens every day and three to just understand I need adult time just like he gets at work. This has helped immensely. I still have my days though that I want to just walk out, but it is getting better as I learn how to get things done and my child gets older.

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      So true. I leave my husband with my kids once in a while and when I get back he worships the ground I walk on and is in continued awe that I actually get anything done with kids in the house.

  15. April Kitchens Avatar

    Did you just blog everything that is in my brain?! The whining is what drives me bonkers! And the non stop talking lol. My poor ears.

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      Lol! It’s because I honk we all feel this way but for some reason don’t share it. I want mothers to know that what they are thinking is normal and that they are not alone.

  16. Apryl @ heart, hope, & hustle Avatar

    Lol some of these are so spot on for me. Specifically the “hours” one. I’ve worked with children my entire life, and it wasn’t until having my own that I realized the Phrase “you never get a break” really was TRUE. Even when they aren’t with me. I generally am the crazy mom that loves staying at home and was born with some odd overwhelming patience for children (not adults, sorry haha). But I have so many friends that identify with EVERYTHING one of these!

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      The hours one was the most surprising for me. I am not sure why, but it was.

  17. Audrey Avatar
    Audrey

    So true! We’ve definitely started the attitude phase with my 3 year old daughter and it’s rough’

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      The 3 stage is so hard!!!

  18. Sabrina Chapiel Avatar
    Sabrina Chapiel

    So well said. I love your honesty. Being a mom is the best, but HARDEST job in the world, and I appreciate your honesty around the difficulties. Sometimes I see moms who look so put together, dressed nice, wearing makeup, their hair done, and here I am sitting in leggings and a hoodie, just wondering when I’m ever going to be able to take a shower. I start to feel like I’m falling apart a little bit. Then I read your words and think “oh yeah, she gets it! I can so relate!” So thank you for this <3

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      I feel like that too. Not as much anymore because my kids have started to grow and I think the longer you are a mom and he more kids you have, it gets easier. But, I often wonder how people keep it all together.

  19. RebeccaLynn Avatar
    RebeccaLynn

    LOL. I think I’m identifying with each and every one of these tonight! Oh, and especially the Attitude (9-year-old daughter here), and Emotional Drain (Did I mention the 9-year-old? Her brother wasn’t an angel child either. LOL). Somehow, (okay, by the grace of God!!) we manage to do it. And we even look in on them while they sleep, with hopeful wishes for a better tomorrow, and loving kisses for the ones we were denied. Yes, parenting is anything but easy. But I hear grand-parenting will make it all worth it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ And payback for them! hahaha

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      Lol!!! Yes. There were days with my eldest daughter that The only thing keeping me going was he possibly of grandchildren and that one day she will call me and say: I am so sorry!!!

  20. Alice Mills Avatar

    All of those things are hard. I raised four daughters, a stepson and daughter, and two extra teens who got lost in the shuffle of life. For me, harder than all those things is the realization that 1. your kids have needs that you cannot fill and 2. as they grow up, they will make some of your mistakes and some of their own. Nothing gets you on your knees faster than your children.

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      Ah man, since my kids are young I have yet to experience that part. It is something that I fear and am glad you shared this.

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