9 reasons why parenting is hard

I don’t think I am the only parent to admit this, but I am going to say it: parenting is hard. Before I had kids, people around me would express how hard it was but I just did not understand until I was in the middle of it. Today, I want to share with you 9 reasons why parenting is hard.

Parenting is hard-- if you don't believe me, then click to read this post. #parenting, #truelives, #trueparenting, #parentingtips

So, if you just don’t understand, then this post is not for you. If you are a parent, then you can probably relate. If you don’t have kids but want to know about what parents go through, then this post may also be for you.

9 reasons why parenting is hard

1. The hours

The hardest thing I had to get used to when I first became a parent was the hours. Before children, I loved babysitting and taking care of other people’s kids. But it was when I had my own that the reality set in that I understood how much time parenting takes.

In the first year of a child’s life, they are completely dependent on you 24 hours a day. It was the continual need and the never-ending demands that drained me in the first year of having a child. I was not expecting to have my time so eaten up and to have a child need me for every moment of every day with no days off.

I slowly came to understand that parenting is a 24-hour job with no breaks and no vacation. Even when your kids are asleep or in school or you’re away for a date, you still worry about the kids. Your brain is always on parent mode.

2. The crying

I hate crying. I despise it. I do everything in my power to stop my kids from crying. With kids, it seems like there is always one child crying at all times. Sometimes, it seems like they have made a pact to take turns and slowly torture you with the consistent noise of screaming.

Other times, they just all cry at once. I have 3 kids, and there have only been a few times when all the kids are screaming at the same time. Those are the days I am tempted to just give up and walk out.

3. The attitude

My eldest daughter is 10, my second daughter is 7, and my son is 3. I have noticed that with both of them, there was a shift from baby-crying mode to attitude mode.

This shift comes at around 3 or 4 and then strengthens at around age 6. They want things their own way and are willing to fight for it. It’s also when they start talking back and sometimes yelling at you. My eldest daughter was 3 when she first yelled to me and said that she hated me.

It’s hard to not take these outbursts personally and to not let them affect your actions and thoughts.

It’s also draining to try and go a few rounds with strong-willed and persistent children.

4. The loneliness

Before I stayed home with my child, I thought the idea of a stay-at-home mother sounded wonderful. It was not until I had been home for a while that the loneliness set in.

I was the first one out of my group of friends who had a child. My older sister had a child 9 months before me and was still on maternity leave, but not for that much longer.

I went to bible study once a week and that was about it. I spent the rest of my days taking care of my child all by myself waiting for my husband to get home. Sometimes, out of desperation, I would walk the mall of the store, but even that became a headache and more work than I was willing to put in.

It was not until my child was one that I figured out I could be a bit more liniment with her routine and get some adult time in during my day.

When the kids are young, you’re never alone, but you feel so lonely. The child does not talk and takes up so much of your time. Boredom soon sets in.

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5. The expectations

In today’s society, we have a way of covering things up or putting a shiny face on things. As mothers, we hardly ever admit that we feel inadequate to do the job or that we need help.

We keep our silence because as women we are to be strong and loving every minute of the stage we are in. People all around us tell us what we should be feeling like and that they miss this stage and tell us how fortunate we are and how fast it all goes.

The truth is, these ideas may be the reality for women past the stage we are in, but as we sit alone at home with a crying child it’s hard to enjoy it or have the perspective that one day we might miss this. There were so many days I hated every minute of the day. I wished them away.

Then, when people would say: this too shall pass– I would feel guilty for not experiencing “the joy of motherhood”. I had to learn to reconcile my reality and my expectations. When I did, I was able to enjoy the journey more.

6. The never-ending mess

If you have kids you understand that they come with mess. Whether it’s sticky fingers, dirty laundry or the pile of toys on the floor, there is always a mess. I don’t mind cleaning up once, but what drives me nuts is when I clean a room and 10 min later it’s in the same state as it was in before I started.

Some days, I don’t even put toys away, knowing full well that the same toys are going to end up on the floor yet again. The work around a house is never-ending. When one task is done there is always something else that can be cleaned or organized.

7. The balance

I have no problems understanding women who say that they lost themselves when they had kids. Children demand so many pieces of ourselves. Pieces that we may not have known we had until they were taken from us.

When having kids it’s hard to find time for yourself to make sure you don’t lose that part of yourself you want to protect. Balancing alone time, family time, activity time, work, date night etc is hard.

There are so many pieces to fit together and finding a balance that works for you and your spouse and children is almost impossible. Finding that balance is one thing, but keeping it up is another. It takes planning and forethought and compromise.

8. The emotional drain

At the end of each day, there hits a point where I am done. There seems to be nothing left in the tank. All of the items listed above take a toll on our emotions.

Sometimes the thought of starting again the next day makes me want to cry. My children drain my emotions empty and hardly ever fill it back up. Keeping myself emotionally stable is hard.

9. The responsibility

As a parent, it’s our job to turn out decent human beings. We are responsible to teach them manners, and a worldview. We are responsible to teach them everything from how to eat properly to appropriate ways to respond to stress.

I don’t know about you, but the weight of responsibility weighs on me. Also, teaching children how to do things takes so much energy and time and can be very draining.

I love being a mother of 3. It’s the best thing that I do every day, but it can be hard. I know many parents who struggle with parenting and everything that goes with it.

You are not alone!!!! We all struggle and fumble our way through parenting.

Do you agree with my list? In the comments below, share with me the part of parenting that is the hardest for you. Please share this post with others. Thank you.

47 responses to “9 reasons why parenting is hard”

  1. Davi Avatar

    The expectations! That one really impacts me. Just last night I had a heart to heart with my husband about how on some days I just don’t feel like a good mother. I think being a SAHM can add these pressures too because that is my reason for doing so!

  2. Jenny Avatar

    Just found this post and your blog on Pinterest and so glad that I did. Great post! I was nodding in agreement the whole time. Happy early Mother’s Day!

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      I am so glad you found it and enjoyed it! happy early mothers day to you!

  3. Ailie Avatar

    Thank you for taking the time to be so honest about motherhood. My eldest boy is 6, my middle boy is 4 (almost 5), and my youngest is 2.5yrs. I am currently a working mom and boy do I struggle some days. Your post is such a refreshment to my soul. I feel less alone reading this and that its ok if the world falls apart a little bit. Being human is important for our children to see.

    I did enjoy the little tip you put in about how they change around 3-4 and it becomes more solid around 7. More grace Lord 🙂

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      I am glad you could be blessed. Motherhood is hard but we are not in it alone. I found that change for my kids, can’t guarantee that it will be the same for yours but eventually the kids do even out a bit more and the Babi issues drop but other things take its place.

  4. Catia Avatar

    The attitude! I totally agree. Sometimes I have to remind myself that they are young and not totally developed and I can’t hold them to the standard of a well adjusted adult, you know?

  5. Alex Snider Avatar
    Alex Snider

    You are so right! Parenting is exhausting! I have four boys, ranging from 5-12 and it seems like they are constantly fighting or need something from me 24/7. Even when they are at school, I don’t get a break because I need to do laundry and clean the house. Things are even harder because my husband works out of town and is only home on the weekends. The past 12 years have flown by, when I look at them as a whole, but the day to day drags on. I know I’ll probably miss the chaos when they all leave home, but right now I just want a minute to breathe without being asked a question!

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      It must be hard with him gone during the week. But I think your right, one day we will look back and miss the crazy

  6. Devon Avatar

    Great post. I think for me it’s the hours and the never ending mess that bother me the most. After almost 12 years I’m still not used to the mess.

  7. Rosanna@ExtraordinaryEverydayMom Avatar

    Yes, parenting sure is hard! I’ve learned over the years, ( my oldest is 12 now) that parenting has helped me grow up and change in many ways. If I hadn’t had kids, I’m sure I wouldn’t be where I am today.

    1. anne.markey1@gmail.com Avatar

      I feel the same way. I love who I have become as a mom.

  8. Brittany Ferrell Avatar

    You are so right! The hours of this whole parenting job are killer! There is never a second where you are “off”. You are always needed and always on call. The responsibility really gets me, too. There is so much weighing on our shoulders to raise healthy and kind tiny humans. The pay is not great either, but the rewards and benefits are totally worth it. Great post!

  9. StephTheBookworm Avatar

    100% yes! I had NO idea how hard it was until I had my son. The crying used to make me cry and get so frustrated, and now that he’s a toddler, it’s that horrible attitude. He throws things, yells, etc. It is so so tough but at the end of the day… worth it.

  10. candy Avatar

    Before you know it they are grown and raising children of their own. Just enjoy every moment.

  11. kristin mccarthy Avatar

    God yes- alllll of this! I have four kids. I hear ya!

  12. Beth Avatar

    Good stuff! Expectations- something I have to try to keep in check each and every day!

  13. Crystal Avatar

    The expectations is what gets me every time- so tough!

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