The Best Parenting Advice Ever

When you become a mom, you get lots of parenting advice.

In this post, I will share with you the2 best pieces of parenting advice I ever got.

When I had my first child, I was determined to not make any mistakes and to be the perfect parent.

I had an image in my head as to the type of parent I wanted to be and how I wanted my kids to turn out. Anything other than the picture I had meant that I was a  failure.

I was determined to find “the perfect” parenting formula and follow it. I had this idea that if I did things a certain way then my kids would turn out the way I wanted them too.

As I read this, I see the craziness of my thought process. But, at the time, I was so stressed out about finding the perfect way.

Thankfully, I had seasoned parents around me that gave me great advice. I would talk to them about discipline and parenting and got great wisdom from people who had gone down this path before me.

Along the way, I got lots of advice, but there are two things that I will never forget and that were the best pieces of advice I could have gotten.

2 Best Pieces of Parenting Advice

1. Perfection does not guarantee perfection

As a mother, I always want the best for my kids. I want to see them succeed and I want to have a close and loving relationship with them. Along with that, I really don’t want them to make bad choices or go down a path that will lead to pain for them.

When I was a young parent, I had this idea that if I was the perfect mother, then I would then have perfect children. If I loved them a certain way then I would guarantee a good outcome.

This idea stressed me out because I had yet to figure out what that way was. I also felt guilty for not being perfect and spent a lot of time afraid that my imperfections would hurt my children in the long run.

When my eldest daughter was one, I went to a ladies’ retreat. One of my friends was leading a session on teens. Since I did not have a teenager, I was not planning on going, but my friend suggested I come anyway.

I am so glad I did!!

What I learned

At that session, she said something that helped me so much.

She said: Jesus is the perfect father, yet look at His children.

This idea set me free. The burden of perfection was taken off my shoulder as I realized this amazing truth. If Jesus can live a perfect life and be the perfect father and His kids don’t follow, what chance do I have?

I had set this ridiculous standard in my mind! Now, I was able to see better. I knew that even if I could be a perfect parent, it would still not guarantee that my kids would not make mistakes.

I had this lightbulb moment where I realized that my children are their own people and their actions are not controlled or determined by my actions.

How I act might help or hinder what my kids do, but the end results do not lie on my shoulders.  I am not responsible for the decisions they make.

2. Focus on love

There are many types of parenting styles but they generally fall into 3 categories: Permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian.

In general, one allows everything, one is extremely strict and the other falls in between.

When I was doing some reading on parenting, I knew that I wanted to be an authoritative parent as it’s generally known to be best for the child.

I had a hard time trying to fit all my theories into any of the 3 categories and was stressing out about the type of parent I would be.

I had a friend come to my rescue, yet again, and give me a great perspective.

She said: It does not really matter what type of parent you are as long as you focus on loving your child.

At first, I thought that this idea seemed too simple. But then, the more I thought about it and the more I read, the more I realized the truth of it.

According to this article in aha parenting, “Children who feel loved and cherished thrive. That doesn’t mean kids who ARE loved – plenty of kids whose parents love them don’t thrive. The kids who thrive are the ones who FEEL loved, accepted and cherished for exactly who they are.” 

So, that’s what I started doing. I read books that helped me focus on loving my child in a way that made them feel loved.

The Best Parenting Books

As a parent, I love to read books. Over the years, I have read many books. There are 2 books that I love and recommend to every parent that helped me from these 2 lessons I learned.

These books include:

Parenting is hard! It’s full of hurdles and mistakes, love, and so much more. My mindset when I started off did not help me. Thankfully, I was able to change my mindset and focus on the things that really mattered and that would help my children grow.

My eldest is only 10, so I have no real proof that these things have helped her, but my mindset has helped me feel better about the way I parent. I am less stressed and don’t carry the guilt of my mistakes. I am able to seek forgiveness, move on and focus on loving my kids.

What is the best piece of parenting advice you ever got?

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Author: Anne Markey

Anne is a stay at home mother of 3 who has been married for more then 10 years. She loves the Lord and is passionate about helping women learn who they are in Christ and how to live a life that glorifies Him.

84 thoughts on “The Best Parenting Advice Ever”

  1. This is why I preach forgiveness. We are not perfect. Honey, I am so far from perfect. I have made many mistakes. Good thing for me is I was young when not everyone had a cellphone to record how stupid I was.

  2. “ Jesus is the perfect father, yet look at his children.” Amazing! So profound & calming to think about as a parent. Thank you!

  3. I chuckled as I read “God is perfect yet look at His children” It is the truth. We cannot expect our children to be perfect ,just as we are not perfect. I love the book “5 love languages for kids”

  4. I also struggled with the notion that if my children failed that I had somehow failed them as a mother. There are no guarantees with children because they are just as human as we are. So thankful that as parents we have the privilege of praying for our children and letting God carry the burden for us. This post reassured me! Thank you!

  5. I really love the analogy of Jesus Christ. He did lead a perfect life. My oldest is 12 and he’s a great kid! I’m really trying not to pressure him into feeling like he has to be perfect. I think that does more damage than good. The best parenting advice I received was when I was discussing the fact that I didn’t understand why I came to church with my toddlers with a seasoned parent. She told me that we are bringing them to a good place and teaching them that it’s important to go to good places and try to be good. I let go of the fact that they aren’t perfect and they’re just babies. I’m bringing them to a good place and I’m trying to teach them how to act properly. They won’t learn it, unless I take them to places like that.

    1. I take my kids to church weekly as well, even though some weeks it hardly seems worth it. I take them to show them with my actions that we find church important and so we make time for it regardless of how easy or hard it is

  6. great read, I am on my first child and I can relate with some of what you said and I agree that loving them is the best form of parenting. thanks for sharing.

  7. What an eye opening statement! This was a great read! The perfect Father has children who have their own free will!

  8. This is a great reminder to focus on love and give yourself some wiggle room to make mistakes!

  9. I love the points you make here! Parenting can be so difficult and challenging sometimes…it can be hard to remember that each child is an individual, one size fits all discipline works.

  10. You definitely know what you’re talking about. I have 2 adult children and love superceeded all of it.

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