The Best Parenting Advice Ever

When you become a mom, you get lots of parenting advice.

In this post, I will share with you the2 best pieces of parenting advice I ever got.

The Best Parenting Advice Ever

When I had my first child, I was determined to not make any mistakes and to be the perfect parent.

I had an image in my head as to the type of parent I wanted to be and how I wanted my kids to turn out. Anything other than the picture I had meant that I was a  failure.

I was determined to find “the perfect” parenting formula and follow it. I had this idea that if I did things a certain way then my kids would turn out the way I wanted them too.

As I read this, I see the craziness of my thought process. But, at the time, I was so stressed out about finding the perfect way.

Thankfully, I had seasoned parents around me that gave me great advice. I would talk to them about discipline and parenting and got great wisdom from people who had gone down this path before me.

Along the way, I got lots of advice, but there are two things that I will never forget and that were the best pieces of advice I could have gotten.

2 Best Pieces of Parenting Advice

1. Perfection does not guarantee perfection

As a mother, I always want the best for my kids. I want to see them succeed and I want to have a close and loving relationship with them. Along with that, I really don’t want them to make bad choices or go down a path that will lead to pain for them.

When I was a young parent, I had this idea that if I was the perfect mother, then I would then have perfect children. If I loved them a certain way then I would guarantee a good outcome.

This idea stressed me out because I had yet to figure out what that way was. I also felt guilty for not being perfect and spent a lot of time afraid that my imperfections would hurt my children in the long run.

When my eldest daughter was one, I went to a ladies’ retreat. One of my friends was leading a session on teens. Since I did not have a teenager, I was not planning on going, but my friend suggested I come anyway.

I am so glad I did!!

What I learned

At that session, she said something that helped me so much.

She said: Jesus is the perfect father, yet look at His children.

This idea set me free. The burden of perfection was taken off my shoulder as I realized this amazing truth. If Jesus can live a perfect life and be the perfect father and His kids don’t follow, what chance do I have?

I had set this ridiculous standard in my mind! Now, I was able to see better. I knew that even if I could be a perfect parent, it would still not guarantee that my kids would not make mistakes.

I had this lightbulb moment where I realized that my children are their own people and their actions are not controlled or determined by my actions.

How I act might help or hinder what my kids do, but the end results do not lie on my shoulders.  I am not responsible for the decisions they make.

2. Focus on love

There are many types of parenting styles but they generally fall into 3 categories: Permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian.

In general, one allows everything, one is extremely strict and the other falls in between.

When I was doing some reading on parenting, I knew that I wanted to be an authoritative parent as it’s generally known to be best for the child.

I had a hard time trying to fit all my theories into any of the 3 categories and was stressing out about the type of parent I would be.

I had a friend come to my rescue, yet again, and give me a great perspective.

She said: It does not really matter what type of parent you are as long as you focus on loving your child.

At first, I thought that this idea seemed too simple. But then, the more I thought about it and the more I read, the more I realized the truth of it.

According to this article in aha parenting, “Children who feel loved and cherished thrive. That doesn’t mean kids who ARE loved – plenty of kids whose parents love them don’t thrive. The kids who thrive are the ones who FEEL loved, accepted and cherished for exactly who they are.” 

So, that’s what I started doing. I read books that helped me focus on loving my child in a way that made them feel loved.

The Best Parenting Books

As a parent, I love to read books. Over the years, I have read many books. There are 2 books that I love and recommend to every parent that helped me from these 2 lessons I learned.

These books include:

Parenting is hard! It’s full of hurdles and mistakes, love, and so much more. My mindset when I started off did not help me. Thankfully, I was able to change my mindset and focus on the things that really mattered and that would help my children grow.

My eldest is only 10, so I have no real proof that these things have helped her, but my mindset has helped me feel better about the way I parent. I am less stressed and don’t carry the guilt of my mistakes. I am able to seek forgiveness, move on and focus on loving my kids.

What is the best piece of parenting advice you ever got?

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the best parenting advice, parenting tips, parenting tips for teens, #parentingadvice, #parentingtips,
Parenting tips, Parenting Advice

84 responses to “The Best Parenting Advice Ever”

  1. Harmony at Momma To Go Avatar

    best piece of advice ??? hmmmm… im drawing a blank! My youngest is 6 its been a while… I do love what you said. No matter how perfect I am, which I am so far from, that doesnt mean my guys will be perfect, although I think they are 🙂

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      I think my kids are pretty great as well

  2. Stephanie Lynch Avatar

    This is all awesome to read. I’m in MOPS for the first time this year and one of our themes is “Let Love be the Loudest Voice” which is similar to your point of focusing on love.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
  3. Nelle Creations Avatar
    Nelle Creations

    Such good advice. I don’t have kids yet but I love this advice

  4. April Lee Avatar
    April Lee

    I love your reference that although God is a perfect father none of His children are. This definitely provides comfort…our kiddos are human just like we are.

  5. Latricia Avatar

    As a Mom to 2 young adults and 2 teens this is great advice. All I have ever wanted is for my kids to be strong, happy and healthy. Parenting comes with making mistakes and it will be ok as long as you learn from them

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      I am glad to hear from more experienced parents that this advice is good

  6. Belle Bermudez-Tubel Avatar

    That is such a great advice! I am not an expert but I totally agree with all of these because I’ve been learning the hard way that there is no such thing as perfection. The one thing I’m trying to focus right now is that my kids feel loved and happy, and they feel that they are important!

    Belle | One Awesome Momma

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      I think making them feel loved and secure will lead to better kids then trying to focus on other things. But, I am not an expert either

  7. Christine Avatar
    Christine

    This is great advice. It took me a long time to realize I can’t be perfect and that no body is perfect. Everyday I just try to do the best I can and show my child how much he is loved. I enjoyed this post.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      Its hard to come to realize that things don’t have to be perfect, but once we do It is so liberating

  8. Jessica Hughes Avatar
    Jessica Hughes

    I am so thankful that my kids don’t need perfection from me, because I am far from perfect! I completely understand where you were coming from when you felt that way though. The last thing we want to do as parents is make mistakes with our children, we want to be perfect parents for them. Thankfully, we just need to love them and do our best.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      Thankfully I have come a long way and don’t expect perfection anymore, but it was a journey. One I am glad I went on.

  9. Amanda Maxwell Avatar
    Amanda Maxwell

    When my son was born 3.5 years ago someone told me all he needs to thrive is love- I have taken that with me on this parenting journey. You reminded me of that today. Such an important and crucial part of parenting.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      I think its the most crucial part. That is why I love the 5 love languages book. It really helps to unlock all the different ways kids can feel loved.

  10. Angela Tolsma Avatar

    I don’t have children, but as I’ve watched my friends start to have children and watch them grow, I’ve realized that there is no perfect parenting options, every child is different and has different needs, letting them be themselves is so important.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      Yes, its a good reminder that we are all different and so our approach may be different as well

  11. Emily Anne Avatar
    Emily Anne

    What a great resource!! I love the advice! Thank you for sharing!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      I am glad you liked it

  12. Brandi Crawford Avatar
    Brandi Crawford

    This is such a great post with great advice. I need to check out the books you recommended.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      They are great books! I love both and I hope you like them as well

  13. Candice Avatar

    I too thought I’d be the perfect parent! I put so much pressure on myself to do so that I was always stressed and unhappy. Now that I’m 16 years into parenting I have learned that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, we just have to keep trying!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      I am glad that you are learning that lesson

  14. Yolanda Avatar
    Yolanda

    Such great words of wisdom. When I was growing up my mom tried to be perfect for us and it was clear that wasn’t making her happy. When I think about how I thrived as a child it really was about ht love, the memories and that’s what has brought me to be so close with my parents today. Great reminders in your article to focus on love which is what I do as a parent today.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      Love is so powerful!

  15. Adriana Martin Avatar

    You are right love is super important and teaching our kids perfection is not always best is very wise. While we all strive for perfection we have to understand that as human beings we are not perfect at all.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      I think seeking perfection only makes us more stressful and then makes our children feel that stress as well

  16. Corey Wheeland Avatar
    Corey Wheeland

    Focus on love – yes!! Such a powerful post.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      thank you for commenting

  17. Polly Avatar
    Polly

    This is so true… the pursuit of perfection as a parent only sets ourselves up for failure (a lesson that I too have been learning!). I’ll look forward to checking out your book recommendations 🙂

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      I was reminded yesterday that I am far far far away from the perfect parent but that my kids are still doing well.

  18. Paula Avatar

    “Children who feel loved and cherished thrive. That doesn’t mean kids who ARE loved – plenty of kids whose parents love them don’t thrive. The kids who thrive are the ones who FEEL loved, accepted and cherished for exactly who they are.” This is such a powerful statement! Thank yo for sharing this advice!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar
      Anne Markey

      It is so important to understand that distinction. That is why I love the 2 books I recommended. They both focus on getting to know your child as an individual and loving them

  19. Nancy Laws (@SheMeets) Avatar
    Nancy Laws (@SheMeets)

    The best parenting advice i received was to make prayer a daily part of my routine…I believe that I am who I am because my mother was a woman who prayed for me constantly. It can be challenging with Life getting the way but it is important.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      That is great advice. I pray for my kids every day and for wisdom and I think its the key to everything

  20. Laura @ The Mindful Mom Blographer Avatar

    I didnt’ know there was a ‘5 Love Languages’ book for kids. I’ve only heard of the one for adults. Great post!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      Yes, it’s a great book. Thanks

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