The Best Parenting Advice Ever

When you become a mom, you get lots of parenting advice.

In this post, I will share with you the2 best pieces of parenting advice I ever got.

The Best Parenting Advice Ever

When I had my first child, I was determined to not make any mistakes and to be the perfect parent.

I had an image in my head as to the type of parent I wanted to be and how I wanted my kids to turn out. Anything other than the picture I had meant that I was a  failure.

I was determined to find “the perfect” parenting formula and follow it. I had this idea that if I did things a certain way then my kids would turn out the way I wanted them too.

As I read this, I see the craziness of my thought process. But, at the time, I was so stressed out about finding the perfect way.

Thankfully, I had seasoned parents around me that gave me great advice. I would talk to them about discipline and parenting and got great wisdom from people who had gone down this path before me.

Along the way, I got lots of advice, but there are two things that I will never forget and that were the best pieces of advice I could have gotten.

2 Best Pieces of Parenting Advice

1. Perfection does not guarantee perfection

As a mother, I always want the best for my kids. I want to see them succeed and I want to have a close and loving relationship with them. Along with that, I really don’t want them to make bad choices or go down a path that will lead to pain for them.

When I was a young parent, I had this idea that if I was the perfect mother, then I would then have perfect children. If I loved them a certain way then I would guarantee a good outcome.

This idea stressed me out because I had yet to figure out what that way was. I also felt guilty for not being perfect and spent a lot of time afraid that my imperfections would hurt my children in the long run.

When my eldest daughter was one, I went to a ladies’ retreat. One of my friends was leading a session on teens. Since I did not have a teenager, I was not planning on going, but my friend suggested I come anyway.

I am so glad I did!!

What I learned

At that session, she said something that helped me so much.

She said: Jesus is the perfect father, yet look at His children.

This idea set me free. The burden of perfection was taken off my shoulder as I realized this amazing truth. If Jesus can live a perfect life and be the perfect father and His kids don’t follow, what chance do I have?

I had set this ridiculous standard in my mind! Now, I was able to see better. I knew that even if I could be a perfect parent, it would still not guarantee that my kids would not make mistakes.

I had this lightbulb moment where I realized that my children are their own people and their actions are not controlled or determined by my actions.

How I act might help or hinder what my kids do, but the end results do not lie on my shoulders.  I am not responsible for the decisions they make.

2. Focus on love

There are many types of parenting styles but they generally fall into 3 categories: Permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian.

In general, one allows everything, one is extremely strict and the other falls in between.

When I was doing some reading on parenting, I knew that I wanted to be an authoritative parent as it’s generally known to be best for the child.

I had a hard time trying to fit all my theories into any of the 3 categories and was stressing out about the type of parent I would be.

I had a friend come to my rescue, yet again, and give me a great perspective.

She said: It does not really matter what type of parent you are as long as you focus on loving your child.

At first, I thought that this idea seemed too simple. But then, the more I thought about it and the more I read, the more I realized the truth of it.

According to this article in aha parenting, “Children who feel loved and cherished thrive. That doesn’t mean kids who ARE loved – plenty of kids whose parents love them don’t thrive. The kids who thrive are the ones who FEEL loved, accepted and cherished for exactly who they are.” 

So, that’s what I started doing. I read books that helped me focus on loving my child in a way that made them feel loved.

The Best Parenting Books

As a parent, I love to read books. Over the years, I have read many books. There are 2 books that I love and recommend to every parent that helped me from these 2 lessons I learned.

These books include:

Parenting is hard! It’s full of hurdles and mistakes, love, and so much more. My mindset when I started off did not help me. Thankfully, I was able to change my mindset and focus on the things that really mattered and that would help my children grow.

My eldest is only 10, so I have no real proof that these things have helped her, but my mindset has helped me feel better about the way I parent. I am less stressed and don’t carry the guilt of my mistakes. I am able to seek forgiveness, move on and focus on loving my kids.

What is the best piece of parenting advice you ever got?

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the best parenting advice, parenting tips, parenting tips for teens, #parentingadvice, #parentingtips,
Parenting tips, Parenting Advice

84 responses to “The Best Parenting Advice Ever”

  1. Shanna (fulltimefulllife.com) Avatar
    Shanna (fulltimefulllife.com)

    I love both points here! I know as a parent I am far from perfect but I love my littles fiercely! And that’s really the best I can do for them! I know that Jesus is their ultimate, perfect Father and will fill in all the places where I’m lacking. Thanks for this wonderful reminder! Loving them is the best job I’ve had!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      Doing our best and loving them with all that we can will bring your kids a long way. Keep up the great work

  2. Jenna Avatar
    Jenna

    I love this post! It’s solid advice. As a mother of 3, I find everyone is willing to offer an opinion or advice, and it isn’t always something applicable or that you necessarily want to hear. I, too, struggle with fitting into a “parenting category”. I want to be a fun mom, that my girls can speak to, and feel comfortable doing so. But I also know they need structure and authority. I’m going to check out the books you linked!!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      They helped me so much with my frame of mind. I think you will like them

  3. Marissa Avatar

    What wonderful advice… I use similar advice when I feel like a bad parent… and I love 5 Love Languages for kids!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      It’s one of my favourite books for kids and marriage

  4. Jennifer L. | Modern Chic Mag Avatar

    I’m not a parent, but I can only imagine how much it can get to try to be the perfect parent. But there is no perfection. I’m thankful my parents werent perfect but they were even better than perfect. They were real and great parents in their own right.

  5. CreativeWifeBlog Avatar
    CreativeWifeBlog

    That quote, “Jesus is a perfect father, yet look at his children” so meaningful. So important not to stress about being perfect and just doing the best we can and forgiving ourselves and each other along the way.

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      Yes, i love that saying as well.

  6. Anne Markey Avatar
    Anne Markey

    I am glad you enjoyed it and I hope that even though your kids are grown you can still build a great relationship with your kids

  7. Tanya Finks Avatar
    Tanya Finks

    I’m not a parent. But what I know from being a child is that whatever my parents did or didn’t do, some of it worked, some of it didn’t. But either way, I always knew they had my best interest at heart. There was a lot of room for error because that always guided them. I love that you found a way to relax into parenting. Congrats!

  8. Jenn Pennell Avatar
    Jenn Pennell

    I need to bookmark this and reread it on those very hard days! So great!

  9. Chiimmiii's Happy World Avatar
    Chiimmiii’s Happy World

    Planning always helps you and makes you to do work on time 🙂 and love is the only thing you need to remember. great post!

  10. David Elliott Avatar
    David Elliott

    I think there is some freedom in knowing that no matter how much you put in, you will not necessarily change the child or cause they to be perfect. They are individuals and will respond accordingly.

  11. Angela Cardamone Campos Avatar

    This is great advice! Love is the most important thing…no matter what!!!

  12. Sara Nichols Avatar
    Sara Nichols

    Love conquers all, right?

  13. Melissa Gendreau Avatar
    Melissa Gendreau

    The best parenting advice I know is to remember that God gave you your children on loan…your role is to try to give them back. Meaning, parent your children in away that they know and love God so that He becomes their Heavenly Father!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      I love this advice. Our children are not ours, they belong to God

  14. Meg Avatar

    The best parenting advice I got was “What YOU do is right.” We have to choose what works for us and our own families, not run around trying to find the magic bullet for ever problem. P.S. – I love your advice too!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      This perspective is so healthy. I think we often try to compare families and issues and it just can’t be done.

  15. Jenn Loyd Avatar
    Jenn Loyd

    Love how you related it to Jesus and how His children aren’t perfect either!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      Thanks! That piece really helped me

  16. Lindsey @andthekitchensink.net Avatar
    Lindsey @andthekitchensink.net

    I’m not a parent yet, but I really love this advice! I think this is such great parenting advice!

  17. Gabriella Avatar
    Gabriella

    I’m not even a parent yet, but that certainly is the best parenting advice I’ve ever heard. Despite God being absolutely perfect, we fall short daily. But he loves us all the same. It’s great advice for parenting and also for life in general. This honestly is really good advice that I needed to hear tonight. Thanks!

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      I’m glad you could relate to the advice even without having kids

  18. Nita Okoye Avatar
    Nita Okoye

    I’m not sure that I am entirely convinced on this topic, i have always believed that parents have huge role concerning this

    1. Anne Markey Avatar

      Parents do have a big role to play, but there is only so much we can do. Kids are their own people who make their own decisions that parents can’t stop. It’s the hardest part of parenting

  19. Tamara Goyette Avatar
    Tamara Goyette

    Focus on love. Couldn’t agree more. There are days it will feel like the love isn’t there, but it is. Remember it is.

  20. Jacki Quinones Avatar
    Jacki Quinones

    I have to check out those books!! Such great advice given.

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