How to tell if a man is a good catch

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How to tell if a man is a good catch? Or that things will work out 10, 20, 30 years down the road? Today, I will share with you 6 things that will help you tell if a man is a good catch.

I am not an expert in human behaviour and every relationship is different. The opinions stated below are my own based on personal experience and a theory I have about people.  (based on my limited knowledge of human behaviour).

I have been married for more than 17 years and am still happy and in love.
Yes, it can happen.

One of the reasons we still have a happy marriage is that I took the time to make sure that the man I was marrying was a good catch.

Also, please note that even if all the signs are there, that he is a good guy, this still does not guarantee that everything will work out. After all, we are still human and people make mistakes.

My Theory

I believe that each person has key moments where they show their true nature.

Those are the moments you want to catch and see how a person acts in those moments.

Because, in marriage, true nature usually reigns over romance and happily ever after.

If you want a good marriage and be able to tell if a man is a good catch, then look for a man with the following characteristics.

6 Things to Look for: How to tell if a man is a good catch

1. How does he treat his mom/sister?

He might treat you amazingly right now but how do you know how he will treat you in the future?

Over time, even in the most loving of marriages, you hit rough spots or moments of tiredness and irritability.

Wives and husbands get comfortable with each other over time and treat each other the way they would treat someone they have known for a long time.

One way to see how he might treat you when he is comfortable is by watching the way he treats his mom.

Men who don’t respect their mothers or who treat their sisters badly will probably treat you that way one day.

Their mother raised them, supported them, loved them and so much more.

If a man can’t respect a person who has done that for them, then, in the long run, they might struggle to respect you.

Men who are good catches will show respect to their mothers and are protective of their sisters. Because the way men treat their mothers and sisters is a good indication of how they will treat you.

2. Watch the way he treats the elderly

The Bible tells us to respect our elders. In today’s culture, it’s easy to want to push older people away to let a new brighter and younger generation take the lead.

The reason the Bible tells us to respect our elders is that they have earned it.

They have lived longer and have seen more. They understand how the world works and have had more opportunities to see God work. Older people also understand ministry and have so much value they can offer.

If a man respects his elders and treats them well, then he shows that he honours and values people.

He respects different world views and understands that his knowledge is not the limit.

Respecting elders shows compassion, understanding and a willingness to learn and even bend to someone else.

These are all amazing qualities to have in a man who is a good catch.

I don’t want a husband who thinks he knows everything or thinks he knows better. I want someone who knows he makes mistakes and can learn from others.

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3. How does he act towards your family

The guy does not have to love your family, but he should never speak badly of them or treat them with disrespect.

If he is not willing to get to know your family, visit them, or spend time with them then these might be signs of things to come in the future.

It’s not a deal-breaker, but bad feelings toward in-laws just make things harder in the long run. Family visits, holidays etc become more stressful and not enjoyable.

Men also sometimes feel threatened by their future fathers-in-law. Fathers are notorious for wanting to take care of their daughters. Since men also have that desire, they might feel that they are doing an inadequate job in the father-in-law steps in.

Finding a man who likes your family will make any future interaction so much more enjoyable.

4. How does he react to stress

As they say: a tiger can’t change his spots.

No matter how much your husband may change over time, the way he reacts to stress will likely stay the same. It might get better over time, but we are wired to go back to instinct when we are stressed.

There are a few key scenarios which you may want to observe to see how he Reacts.

You might think that your guy never gets stressed out, but I have this theory.

I believe that a person’s true nature comes out while they drive. Think about it. What other situation could you have the possibility of being late, cut off, and totally stressed out? Watching how your man reacts to other drivers will give you a great insight into how he reacts to stress.

I highly encourage couples to take drives together before marriage and also build a piece of furniture together. If you can go on a road trip together and put together a piece of IKEA furniture without killing each other then the chances are you can face multiple stressful situations together with ease.

5. Is he willing to put work in?

When I was a teenager I had a few rules for myself about dating. I thought: if a guy is interested in me, he will call or ask me out. I don’t have to chase him down.

**Most** men will put in some effort to get to know you and your family. Some men might need nudging and encouragement but if a guy doesn’t call or do anything to pursue you then the chances are that he is not interested in you.

But this attitude does not end during the courtship. If a guy is willing to put in some work at the start of the relationship, it shows his level of intent and commitment. He is the type of guy who will continue to work to see that your relationship keeps working.

Our story

When I first met my husband, we started off as acquaintances. We would talk at the bus stop and we slowly got to know each other. At the time, he was a smoker. In passing, I said that I would never date a smoker.

Within a couple of weeks of me saying that he had stopped smoking cold turkey. He was willing to quit something he loved to have the chance to get to know me better.

Once we started dating, it was really important for me to have him sit down with my dad and have a conversation. Greg was new to town and had just started attending the church I was going to.

Because my dad is an elder at the church,  I respected his authority and opinion about guys and wanted him to chat with Greg about his faith and so on. I knew Greg’s story but I wanted an elder to affirm that he was not an axe murderer. I did not want love to blind me to his faults.

When I brought up the idea of him talking to my dad,  Greg did not blink. He called my dad and set up a meeting.

If the guy really respects you and is truly interested in you then he will be willing to jump over the moon for you.

If he is not willing to make sacrifices at the start of a relationship then he never will.

Marriage takes work.

Some of that work is to compromise but other work is working to keep a family together or working to make time for what matters.

I found, (in my case) that his willingness to put in so much effort was an indicator of his willingness to provide for his family.

This is not to say that women can’t be breadwinners, but Greg has always been determined to work as hard as he can to provide for us and has shouldered that responsibility from the start.

There was no real way for me to know all of this at the start. But, looking back I think I knew this would be the case for him because of how willing he was to jump through all the hoops I had set up at the start of our relationship.

Marriage can be amazing. But it’s only amazing if you marry a good catch.

There are many ways you can discern how he will eventually treat you and his general character.

6. Watch him in every type of scenario

Over time, a person’s true nature will come out. If you can love him threw his stressed-out moments and in those bad moments then the marriage will be that much easier.

How to tell if a man is a good catch is the best question you can ask yourself before you jump into a relationship.

In the comments below, share some signs that would tell you whether or not a guy is a good catch. Please share this post with others. Thank you.

Author: Anne Markey

Anne is a stay at home mother of 3 who has been married for more then 10 years. She loves the Lord and is passionate about helping women learn who they are in Christ and how to live a life that glorifies Him.

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