8 Profound things the Bible says about Church

What is the church’s role according to the bible? That is a big question. I turned to the Bible to find answers. In my reading, I discovered 8 profound things The Bible says about church.

I have been attending church since I was a baby. Growing up in the church, it’s easy to believe I know what Church is and what it’s supposed to be. Some of these beliefs are based on tradition and not the Bible.

 As an adult, it’s my responsibility to know what is the church’s role and purpose according to the Bible.

 

A picture of the top of a church steeple. Beside the picture are the wors 8 profound things the Bible says about church.

8 profound things The Bible says about church

Searching Scripture

Acts 17:11 (NIV)

11 Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.

This verse encourages each and every one of us to study scripture for ourselves and to see if what we have been learning from church leaders is true. 

As such, I have come to believe certain things about Church- not just from what I practice and know but from what the scripture says about it. 

What is “the church”? 

Before I delve into writing about the purpose and role of the church, it’s important that we define what “the Church” is. 

Ephesians 2:13-22 

13 But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. …18 for through Him we both have our access in one Spirit to the Father. 19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household, 20 having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone, 21 in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, 22 in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit.

These verses tell us that when a person turns away from Sin towards God, they become part of God’s household. When we become part of His household we are then fit together with other people who know God to create the temple of God. 

This temple of God is not a building, but a people. 

For the sake of this blog post, anytime I talk about “The Church”, I am referring to the Temple of God. 

The Temple of God is not a building or one person. The church is made up of many people who are fit together in Christ. 

Another way to describe it is “the universal church”. This describes all Christians who know God. 

A “local church” is one gathering made up of people who know God. These people usually meet in a specific physical building that is also referred to as the church. To make sure that we are all on the same page, I will try my best to say: universal church, the local church, and the church building. 

8 Things the Bible Says about Church

1. Jesus is the head of the church

Most local churches are usually part of a larger denomination and have some sort of government/ leadership structure in place. 

These government structures are good and have a purpose. But, is very important to remember that the bible is very clear that there is not one person who is the head of the church. The head of the church is Christ Himself. 

Ephesians 1:22-23

22 And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church, 23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Colossians 1:17-18

17 He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. 18 He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything. 

2. The presence of Jesus is not dependent on numbers

When choosing a local church, it might be tempting to believe that larger churches are more “spiritual” because of their numbers. 

But the Bible does not support this. 

Matthew 18:20 ESV

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

God knew that we would be obsessed with numbers. How many people go to a church, how many people get saved, and so on a so forth.

I think that is why He added this verse to scripture. God wanted us to know that numbers don’t matter. 

A local church that has 4-5 people has just as much importance to God as one that has thousands of attendees. 

3. Jesus uses us to build His Church

I am always amazed at God. He has no use for us and can grow His church on His own. But He uses us to build His church. 

Ephesians 2:13-22 

13 But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. …19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household, 20 having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone, 21 in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, 22 in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit.

God knows that there are some things we might not understand without word pictures. So, He made sure to add lots of word pictures to describe how He wanted things to work. 

In this word picture, a building is used to describe the church. God is the cornerstone, the apostles are the foundation, and the rest of us are bricks built together to make a dwelling of God. 

4. We all have a part

In the verses above, they described the use of all Christians to build a dwelling of God. But that is not where it ends. We are not just bricks sitting and waiting. We are all given a part. 

Ephesians 4:11-16 (NASB)

11 And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God,…15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.

These verses are describing something known as spiritual gifts. When we come to know The Lord as our savior, we are given spiritual gifts. The verses then continue and describe how a body has many parts. Each part needs to work properly for the body to function. 

God is the head of the body, and we are members of that body. We each have a role to play. If we don’t do our role, then the whole body suffers. 

It amazes me that God created us to need each other. We can’t be a body on our own. We need each member to work as one body. 

5. God wants us to meet together

When reading about the church, it is evident that there is a blueprint to follow and some general instructions we should follow. 

One is that God desires us to meet together. 

Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

God’s desire for us to meet together may sound obvious, but in today’s world, I think we need to remember that God wants us to meet together in one room. 

With the internet, it’s easy to believe that we are “doing church” because we listened to a sermon online and had spiritual conversations online. 

Those things are all good things, and I encourage you to continue those things. But, there is something to be said about meeting together in one space worshipping God together. 

God knows we need each other and we can’t do that solely online. 

6. We are to be united

Unity is something that should be found in local churches and the universal church. 

So many times, we let disagreements and traditions separate us into smaller and smaller factions. But, this was not what God had in mind. 

He wants all Christians to be united together. 

God does not want us to cause disunity and wants us to watch out for those people who would cause divisions. 

Romans 16:17 ESV 

I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them.

The bible makes it clear that the church (universal church) is one body and that we are to work together. 

1 Corinthians 12:12-13,25-26

12 For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ. 13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free, and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.

25 so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

So often, I see a division between denominations and groups. Instead, we should focus on the thing that unites us which is Christ. 

Can you imagine what our witness as Christians would be if all denominations would work together for one common goal? It would be an amazing testimony of God’s work in all of us. 

7. The church is to have Godly leaders

One of the most important things to look for when going to a church is Godly leadership. 

The Bible sets some pretty high standards for leaders. 

1 Timothy 3:1-13 

3 It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. 2 An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. 4 He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity 5 (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), 6 and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. 7 And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

8 Deacons likewise must be men of dignity, not double-tongued, or addicted to much wine or fond of sordid gain, 9 but holding to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 These men must also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons if they are beyond reproach. 11 Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. 12 Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households. 13 For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.

These verses are pretty intimidating to read. Sometimes I think- is there anyone who actually meets these requirements? God calls us to walk in all His ways. As leaders of the church, they should strive to follow God. 

Nobody is perfect and no leader (except God) is perfect. Expecting perfection from our leaders is unrealistic. But, we should hold our leaders to the standards listed above. 

8. God is the one who grows the church

In recent years I have seen Christian pastors “go viral” and strive for more likes, more followers, and so on. With that sort of mindset, it’s easy to think that it’s a person who will grow the church. 

But that is not true!

No one man is responsible for people joining the church. The only person who can grow the church (local or universal) is God. 

1 Corinthians 3: 5-9 NKJV

Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers through whom you believed, as the Lord gave to each one? I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor.

For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building.

We all have a part to play. We can sow- preach God’s word, we can water- teach people about the bible. But only God is responsible for saving people and making people grow in their faith. 

Conclusion

As a Christian who has been saved for a long time, one of my goals is to decide based on what scripture says. That is why I shared with you 8 profound things the Bible says about Church.

In the comments below, share your thoughts on what the bible says about church.

Please share this post with others. Thank you.

What is the purpose of the church?

As a Christian, we are part of the church- local and universal. As such, we the church have a purpose. Click to read 5 thing the bible says is the purpose of the church.

As a Christian, we are part of the church- local and universal. As such, we the church have a purpose. 

Listed below are 5 things the bible says is the purpose of the church.

5 things the bible says is the purpose of the church

1: Make disciples

Matthew 28:19  (NASB)

Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,

This call was made from Jesus to all His disciples before He ascended into heaven. It was one of His last commands to them. 

Our purpose of the church is to make disciples. 

That means that we are to share the gospel with others and that we are to support other Christians in their walk with God. 

2. The Church is a testimony of God

One of the purposes of the Church is to show the Character of God. People should be able to look at the church and see who God is. 

Ephesians 3:10  

so that the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known through the church to the rulers and the authorities in the heavenly places

The purpose of the Church should be to be a mirror of God’s character. 

When I turn on the news, I see many people claiming to be Christians and being part of the church, but then I look at their actions and words and I don’t see Christ. 

Our actions or inactions are a testimony to God’s goodness and grace. If we are not reflecting that, then we are missing one of the key purposes of being here on earth. 

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3. Pray

One of the big benefits of being part of a church body is knowing that you can ask people for prayer. 

This model is shown to us in the book of Acts. 

Acts 12:5 (NASB)

So Peter was kept in the prison, but prayer for him was being made fervently by the church to God.

One of the main purpose of the church is to pray.

The believers had no power in themselves to free Peter. They could not change the law or the ruling. Instead of giving up, they turned to God in prayer. 

Prayer is our most powerful tool. It should be our first response when something good or bad happens.

Often times there are Christians that we know who are suffering from sickness or any number of issues. In most cases, there is nothing we can do. We don’t have the power to cure cancer, and we can’t undo years of consequences to sin. But, we can pray. 

As part of the church, it is our responsibility to pray for one another. 

By doing so, we are bringing those people into the presence of God and acknowledging that God is the one who has power in a situation. 

4: Remember Him

One of the commands that Jesus gives His disciples is to remember His death. 

1 Corinthians 11:23-26

23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes.

One of the things that Jesus wanted His disciples to do was to meet together and remember His death. By doing so, we remember why He died, and that He rose from the dead and is one day coming back.

These verses say: as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup.

In the book of acts, some disciples were meeting daily to break bread and discuss scripture. These verses are pretty open to interpretation. The bible does not lay our how often we are to remember Him but the verses are clear that we are to remember Him.

Some local churches do this weekly, and others do this monthly. Some local churches will do with special occasions while others save this practice for Sunday Morning. The when and how often is not to be our focus. Our focus should be that we make sure to gather together and break bread and drink wine and remember Him. 

5: Keep each other Accountable 

As a christian, one of our responsibilities is to keep each accountable for our sins. 

James 5:16

16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

This verse tells us that we are to confess our sins to one another! That is a pretty hard calling. I have a hard time confessing my sins to God, let alone other people. 

Another purpose of the church is to keep each other accountable.

The reason why God has added this to His word is He knows that we need each other. When we confess our sins to each other, we acknowledge that we are sinful people who need help and saving from sin. When christians are honest about their struggles and temptations they encourage other christians. 

When I sin, the devil tells me this lie: You are a bad christian. You are the only person in the history of man to experience this sin. You are alone!

When we confess our sins to each other, the lies of the devil fade away. We realize that we are all sinners and that we are not alone in our struggle against sin and flesh. 

In Conclusion

The idea of Church has not changed from when Jesus instituted it. There have always been people who have gathered together to encourage one another and to help each other understand who God is and what He has done for us. 

We sometimes like to focus on the details such as size, and programs and everything else. But it’s all just window dressing. 

God has always wanted His people to set themselves apart and to gather together to worship Him. 

I hope that some of these thoughts have helped you gain a better understanding of the purpose of the church according to the Bible. 

In the comments below, share what you have learned about the church’s role from reading the bible.

Please share this post with others. Thank you. 

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6 Tips for Finding a new church

8 years ago my husband and I moved from Ottawa to Edmonton. Due to this, we needed to find a new church. Our goal was to find a church that we could see ourselves attending for a long time and becoming part of that church. Finding a new church can seem intimidating. In this post, I am going to share with you 6 tips for finding a new church. 

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6 Tips for Finding a New Church

1. Don’t make the decision alone 

In my 37 years of living, I have been a member of  6 churches. Some churches, I only attended for a year and others for much longer. 

Each church was a different experience and it gave me a well-rounded view of how different churches work and my experience has helped me know exactly what I want in a church. 

Changing churches can be a big decision. Each time I have attended a new church- it was with the guidance of my parents or working with my husband to know what was best for our family. 

I have never picked a church on my own and I am very happy about that. 

Finding a new church with someone you trust to help you in your church hunt is a good idea. 

If you are thinking of looking for a new church then I highly suggest that you look for guidance from people you trust. 

Get a referral: 

If you have been a Christian for a while, then you probably know other Christians. Chances are that you know someone who has lived and gone to a church in the area you are looking for. 

When finding a new church, take some time and ask people you know for a recommendation. 

There are 3 places you can get Directions for finding a new church: 

1. Your Friends 

When my husband and I moved to Edmonton, the only connection we had to the city was my brother-in-law who does not go to church. So, it felt like we had to church hunt with no help from friends. 

But, it turns out that we did know someone who had gone to church in Edmonton. 

As we prepared to move, it became known around our church that we were moving to Edmonton. One of our friends had travelled to Alberta a few summers prior. She had attended a church there and had a good experience. 

Since we knew her and her relationship with The Lord- we knew we could trust her recommendation. So we put that church on the top of our list and had somewhere to start. 

Friends are a great place to start when you are finding a new church. They may have attended a different church or know someone who attended somewhere else. 

As I get older, I realize how small Christian circles are. 

If you stay in a similar denomination- then chances are that you can find someone you know to recommend to you a similar church in the area you are moving to. 

2. From your pastor or Elder: 

Maybe you are a new Christian or you don’t know many Christians that you can turn to for help. In that case, I recommend that you seek guidance from your pastor or Elder.

As leaders in the church, these people have many connections with Christians from different churches and may even be able to connect you to a church in the area you are moving to as a place for you to start. 

When finding a new church, leaders that you respect can be a great help to you.

3. Ask God

I probably should have put this first as prayer is the most important thing you can do when you are finding a new church. 

Isaiah 48:17 ESV / Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go.

God loves you and wants you to come to Him and ask for directions. When we do, His word promises us that He will show us the way. 

2. Ask yourself Hard questions 

If you are thinking about finding a new church, there are a few questions you have to ask yourself first.

  1. Why am I looking for a new church? 

This is a crucial question to ask yourself. Maybe you have no choice because you are moving to a different city. 

But if you are not moving, it’s important to question why you are looking for a new church. 

Click here to read good reasons to leave a church. 

2. What is the most important thing for you to find in a church 

Before you decide what churches to visit, it’s important that you know what you are looking for. 

When we moved to Edmonton we wanted a church that was in a similar denomination as we were leaving, was family-friendly, had the breaking of bread service and was welcoming. We were also looking for a church that had an elder and deacon board and that was not run by one pastor. 

When finding a new church, it’s important that you know what type of church you are looking for.

Some Criteria to consider 

Before you start finding a new church, make a list of things you want in a church. 

To help you start, I have made a list of things that may or may not be important to you.

This is just a list. You can add to it, or take some things away. 

  • Bible-believing 
  • Welcoming 
  • Do they have a Children’s program?
  • How is the church run? Does the church have pastors, elders, deacons, etc? How do they all work together?
  • What denomination you are looking for? Are you going to stay in the same denomination or try something new?
  • Types of services and service times  
  • Does the church have opportunities for you to serve and get involved? 
  • Does the church have small groups you can be part of– what time and where
  • Does the church have a women’s ministry? 
  • Does the church have a men’s ministry?
  • Is the church mission focused?
  • Is the church outreach focused?
  • Where is the church located? How far are you willing to travel? 

Every single church will do things differently and will NOT BE PERFECT. The perfect church will only exist in heaven. 

We have some friends who have relocated to a different city and have not been able to find a church that had everything on their list. 

So, they had to pear the list down and focus on the top criteria that were important to them. 

3. Do some research 

People are not the only way you can get information about a church. There are some other things you can do to find a church in your area. 

Google is your Friend 

I love Google products and I am so happy about the amount of information you can find through the power of the internet. 

When my husband and I were getting ready to move to Edmonton, we started our church hunt with a simple Google search. 

We knew what church denomination we were looking for so we googled: bible church in Edmonton. 

The search results gave us a list for us to start looking into. 

If you are living in a particular area of town and want a church in your neighbourhood then you can start your Google search using google maps. Map your location and then look into churches in your area. 

While living in Edmonton, my husband and I were interested in maybe attending a church in the neighbourhood we were living in. We felt that we might have Christian neighbours and not even know it. 

So, we did a simple Google search and found a neighbourhood church that was meeting across the street from where we lived. Even though we did not decide to go to that church, we were happy to meet fellow believers that lived so close to us.

Read, read, read

Once you have a list of churches that you are interested in, you can read a few resources to know if that church is worth a visit. 

  • Bible: this may seem obvious, but the first thing you should read is the bible. The Bible has many verses about the function of the church. It is important that you know what a bible believing church is vs one that claims it preaches God— when in actuality it does not. For more about what the bible says about the church, click here. 
  • Website: These days, most churches have websites. When looking at churches to visit, I highly recommend that you read their website. There, there should be a statement of faith and some history or information about what the church is and what they believe. They might even have a list of ministries and links to other resources. 
  • Listen: One of the things I look for in a church is biblical teaching. One way to find out what a church preaches is to listen to sermons. As mentioned above, most churches have websites. On their websites, you may also find links to sermons. Listening to the sermons is a great way to learn how many people teach, who teaches, and what they teach about. 

Visit the church

The best way to know what a church is like is to actually go and visit a church. Websites and tapped sermons can only tell you so much about a church. They can’t tell you if the people are friendly or if the church actually practices what their website says. 

Before you visit a church, be aware that one visit may not be enough. I know that our church, every Sunday is not exactly alike. It may take a few weeks to be able to tell whether or not the church will be a good fit.  

But, if you know what you are looking for, then it may only take one visit to know if that church is one you feel God is leading you to. 

4. Pray!

I know that I have already talked about prayer, but, I am adding it again because it’s that important. 

God wants us to be in fellowship together. 

Hebrews 10:25 (NASB)
not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

God also wants us to come to Him with all of our needs– including asking for wisdom and direction. 

When we turn to God and ask for help, He will direct us to where He wants us to be. 

So whether you are thinking of changing church in the same city or you are moving to a new area– cover all of it in prayer. 

When you come to God– He will give you peace as to what church you should be at.  

5. Be Open to His leading 

When I was a teenager, I desperately wanted to leave the church I was attending. I even knew exactly what church I wanted to visit first. But, before doing anything I prayed. I prayed and I prayed and prayed. 

When I prayed, I felt The Lord asking me to stay. Every single time I came to The Lord about this- I knew He was asking me to stay. 

It was not the answer I was looking for, but it was the answer I got. I obeyed The Lord and stayed. In staying, The Lord blessed me by showing me His hand in the leading of the church. I had a front-row seat in watching God move people in His time for His glory. 

God knows you and knows the church. He knows how He wanted to use you and He will lead you to where He wants you to be.

It may not be where you expect, but it will always be a blessing to you to obey The Lord. 

6. Be ready for change

When I was living in Ottawa, I went to the same church for more than 20 years. 

The people there had watched me grow up and were like family. 

When we moved to Edmonton, I knew that my church experience would be different. 

People would not know me and it would take time to have new people feel like family. 

Also, even when churches are in the same denomination, they may do things differently. 

People don’t like change. We like what we know and it can be uncomfortable to be in a new church who do things in a different way than you used to. 

But it’s important not to let these small differences take our focus off what matters– finding a new church home. 

Some Final Thoughts

Starting the hunt for a church can be intimidating. Most cities have multiple churches to choose from.

To help make your church hunt easier, make sure to follow the 6 steps listed above.

Don’t forget that God is always with you and will guide you in finding a new church.

In the comments below, share what you look for in a church.

Please share this post with others. Thank you!

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10 effortless tips on how to make friends

Making new friends can be hard. I have always struggled with this and I know that others do as well. In today’s post, I will share 10 tips on how to make friends.

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My Past

For 20 years, I went to the same church and lived in the same town. I knew everybody and everybody knew me. People would sometimes say that getting to know people was hard and I would be confused because I had never known that to be true.

But one day all that changed. About 5 years ago, my husband and I moved from one end of the country to the other. We had no choice but to start all over and make new friends.

I discovered that making friends at a new church can be hard. My husband and I have worked at making friends and can now say that we have many close friends.

I discovered that making new friends as adults can be hard. My husband and I have worked at making friends and can now say that we have many close friends.

If you are new in town or at a school or church and have not made friends yet, here are  10 tips to help you make new friends.

I mainly focus on making friends at church, but these tips can be used in any setting.

10 tips on how to make friends

1. Say hello                                                       

Proverbs is a book of wisdom. In it, we find the secret to making friends,

Proverbs‬ ‭18:24‬ ‭ NKJV‬‬ says: “A man who has friends must himself be friendly…”

To make friends, one must be friendly. It might sound simple, but one way to be friendly is to say hello.

At church, there are many opportunities to say hello. This might be during the service where you are asked to turn around and greet each other, or it might be before or after the service. When trying to make friends saying hello is the first step.

The church we go to has about 400 people. It’s hard to get to know everybody. In the first year of going there, my husband and I decided to sit in a different spot every week and to try to say hello and meet as many people as we could. Now, we recognize and know many people in our church.

2. Make the first step

Churches are usually friendly but sometimes people are busy and don’t notice new people. Instead of waiting for people to greet you and invite you to events I suggest that you make the first step.

You find people to say hi to and introduce yourself. If you wait for people to invite you to events it might be months before you get to know people.

3. Start with people in your demographics

When we first moved to our new city I was 7 months pregnant and had a 3-year-old. The first place I made friends was in the nursery taking care of my baby. The church we go to has many people in the same stage as we were in and it was an easy way to relate.

Friendship usually starts over a shared experience. Bonding over children, work or your stage will help you connect to people quickly.

4. Go to events

Most churches have events going on throughout the week. One way to get to know people is to pick some events and go to them regularly.

Just by going people will start recognizing your face and will greet you and want to get to know you. Some of these events may be bible studies or children’s programs. If your church does not have any events, maybe they need you to plan one.

5. Be hospitable

Sharing a meal has a great way of bringing people together. One way to get to know people better is by having people over for a meal.

My husband and I would open the church directory and pick a family or person to invite over for a meal. Over the years, we have had many people over. Some of these people have turned into close friends.

6. Follow-through

The first hello and interaction are the easiest. It’s the follow-up that can be hard. If you suggest to somebody that you want to hang out…. follow through and make the plans.

Take out your phone and choose a date that works best for you. There have been too many times when somebody has said: let’s do coffee, and then they never actually make the plans. Be a person of your word and follow through.

7. Make the effort and stay in touch

Life can get busy. One of the first things that go when having young children is friend time. So I know how hard it is to juggle kids, husband, church, work, and friendship. But friends are the people who keep us sane, and honest. So, it’s important to take time and keep the friendship going.

If there is somebody that you want to spend time with no they have not contacted you, then you make the effort.

In high school no university, this was the part I struggled with the most. I still do. For some reason, picking up the phone is scary to me. I was lonely and wanted friendship but did not know how to reach out. Since the idea of calling people scared me, I spent many lonely nights in my basement.

Now, calling still scares me, but I know that making plans is better than waiting. Maybe your friend is lonely too and can’t seem to pick up the phone. You never know who you are saving from a night alone at home.

8. Branch out

Maybe you go to a church that does not have anybody your age. If that is the case, don’t neglect people who are not your age or in your stage.

‬‬ The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

Titus‬ ‭2:3-5‬ ‭NKJV

How can any of this happen if we only make friends with people our age? It’s important to branch out and get to know people of all ages.

In university, my mother started a weekly seniors’ lunch. I would go every week to help out. It was the highlight of my week and I got to know many of the elderly people in our church. I counted many of them as close friends.

9. Don’t give up

My husband and I reached out to a few people we thought would be close friends. But due to busy lives and schedule conflicts, some of those friendships never went any further. It’s not that those people were not nice or not willing, but they were already living a full life at the time and did not have time to commit to more.

Instead of being hurt and shutting down, we moved on. My husband and I just found other people to reach out to and tried again.

Friendship comes with trial and error. It might not happen right away or with the first people that you get to know. But if you keep trying eventually you will find the type of friendships you are looking for.

10. Be realistic

Making deep and lasting friendships take time. It’s important to be realistic and to know that deep friendships take time and effort.

Close friendships don’t happen overnight. If you take the time and effort to put yourself out there and keep working at it, you will find yourself with close friends soon enough.

The first year in the new area I said hi to a woman at a lady’s retreat. She was nice and I liked her. A few months later, I found out she lived in my area. Through getting to know her at bible study, we started to meet during the week at the park, then at each other’s homes.

Now, she is my closest friend. We did not start off as close friends, but with time and effort, she has become somebody I depend on for friendship.

I hope that by following these tips, you will be encouraged and will develop deep and lasting friendships.

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